How I Reorganized my Life at Home and Stopped Weeping from the Burden

Ever since my 16 year old son became very ill, several months ago, my life has been chaotic at home. I have been worried, stressed and worn out. I have been weeping with the burden of my son’s illness and trying to make sure he is taken care of. I have been doing almost everything myself around the house. Recently, I stayed up almost all night, just to organize and clean. It has been never-ending. I could not stop for just a little while, to come up with a new plan. All my dear children are willing to help me. They are very hard workers and responsible children. . .But I didn’t ask them. . . It got out of control and I finally snapped out of it.

It was the morning when I heard a gospel song which went like this:
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Chorus
I can't even walk without You holding my hand.
The mountain's too high and the valley's too wide.
Down on my knees, I learned to stand.
And I can't even walk without You holding my hand.

Link source: http://www.my.homewithgod.com/heavenlymidis2/cantwalk.html

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I started to weep. I could not go on. I posted here about my difficulty and then received many kind comments, suggestions and advice. I was also counseled by a very dear friend. I will describe in detail how I fixed everything and where the ideas came from. But first, I want to thank all of you who took the time to calm me, to soothe my pain and to help me overcome this. Thank you for putting down your own daily duties to come to my aid. You have no idea how much this has made my life better!

All it took was a binder…….. (smiles)

I took a couple of days off from housework and made a quick list of things I needed done each day. John, my 12 year old, did most of the work. I also bought extra paper plates, paper cups, etc. so it wouldn’t be too overwhelming.

1. During this time, I sat at the kitchen table and made a list of ideas. Amy helped me with weekly chores, daily chores and even volunteered to do several of them herself. My dear friend, Denise,  took an emailed list of everything I wanted done and organized it into a workable daily plan. She, more than anyone else, knows what our life is like and what our schedule is. This was such a relief to me because I was in ‘crisis mode’ or on “high alert’ and could not calm down long enough to quietly plan this myself.

2. Traci Best had an excellent post on binders. I never understood the purpose of binders, until I read her post. She also emailed me with more ideas, for which I am very grateful. You see, the binder itself is the most important part of this plan. Thank God for Traci and her help with this part!

3. When I was in my late teens, my mother bought a book, "Sidetracked Home Executives." I read this and thought it was so funny. I never understood why my mother bought it, because she has always been a fanatical, organized cleaner just like me. But then I realized something…. For Mother and I, the book does not help US to clean, it helps our CHILDREN to help us clean!!! That is the key!! I was not delegating everything to them. I enjoy cleaning. I love to wash dishes and do laundry. There is pleasure and peace to be found in homemaking. However, I could not do it all alone! So the ideas in this book came back to me and I incorporated them into my new plan.

Here is the simple plan:

- I have a one inch, navy blue binder. I made a simple cover and called it “Housekeeping and School plan.” Just for fun, I drew four squares on the lower half of the paper - one for each child. (My oldest is living on her own.) They drew art work in their own box. I wanted to have them help decorate it, so they would know it was for their use as well.

- On the inside front cover, I taped a page in place. It is called “School at a Glance.” It lists the daily school assignments for three of the children. It also lists our Bible study times.

- On the inside back cover, there is a page called, “Chores at a Glance.” This is for three of the children. It is what I expect of them daily. It is a short list, no details.

[Please note: Everything in the binder is handwritten. I did not type any of this up. I wanted it to have a personal touch, in Mama’s own handwriting.]

- There are a total of fourteen labeled divider tabs. They are as follows:

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1. “Living room”

I wrote the estimated time it takes to clean this room. It says to ‘set the timer.”
There are seven things listed here that need to be done in the living room. I used colored pencils to hand-write these in large letters.

2. “Kitchen”

The estimated time is listed with instructions to set the timer.
There are eight items listed here in detail. I used colored pencils for this.

3. “Bathroom”

The estimated time is listed as well as instructions to set the timer.
There are eight items listed here. I used colored pencils for this as well.
[For the rest of the binder, I just used a regular pen]


4. “Weekly Chores” - I also listed what day of the week we will do these.

There are five names here, including the four children and Mama. We each have a list of things to do. For example:

Amy – vacuum all rugs, sweep all floors, wash the cars (she actually offered to do this!!)
Nicole – Clean the game-room (large unfinished porch), do laundry, etc.
Mom – plan food shopping, make menus, wash all bedding, etc.

5. “Work for Pay”

We have always tried to have extra work available for the children to earn some money. This list is used only by Matthew right now. He is not able to work at a job because of his illness. All the children are perfectly happy that Matthew has this to do and no one complains. The main reason is because all the other children have jobs already and have a weekly income. (Nicole works at a restaurant; Amy and John work for me in my small home business.)

Originally, I had created 6 index cards listing all the daily paid- work for Matthew to do. Things like “clean out the fridge” or “Dust all the windowsills.” He has been doing this for quite a while. So I simply photocopied those index cards and put the papers into the binder under this section.

6. “Nicole”

I have to drive Nicole wherever she needs to go. She is 20 years old but doesn’t have a driver’s license. However, she saved up her money about 2 years ago and bought her very own car, in cash. Because she could not drive, she lets me use her car. (I don’t have one of my own). I am very thankful! The main reason she cannot drive is that she is partially blind in one eye. So, I drive her to and from work or on a weekly errand. In about a week, she will begin college classes again. She is halfway finished earning a bachelor’s degree. In her section of the binder, I have a list of all her scheduled classes, the days of the week and what time she needs to be there. This combines with her work schedule and we have devised a plan to get this all organized.

7. “Matthew”

I have a detailed list of his school assignments. I also listed what time he is supposed to do this work. It is mostly, late afternoon and early evenings, when he is feeling well enough to do this.
There are also blank pages where I can keep track of what he has accomplished and what we need to work on the next day. For example: “Finished page 23 in math, do page 24 next time.” (If I don’t do this, I will never remember where we left off! This is because we use mostly non-consumable textbooks.)

8. “Amy”

Amy is a full-time dance student this year. She has a rigid schedule. I have all her classes and times listed here. I have to make sure they do not interfere with Nicole’s schedule.
I also have a list of her daily school assignments like in Matthew’s section.
[ Please note: Amy will graduate from home-school in about 1 and ½ years. She has a busy schedule.]

9. “John”

Same list of school assignments and pages for notes. But I do want to add that I have 2 copies of assignments in each child’s section. The reason? I leave one copy in the binder and take the other one out for the child to use as a guide while they work. Two copies protect from loss or damage!

10. “Menu and Food”

I am still working on this. However, I do have the times for meals listed and who is in charge at each meal. I also plan to make an inventory list of “pantry” items that we need to have on hand at all times. This will make it easier to buy just what we need. I will also devise a basic shopping list.

11. “Matthew’s Suppers”

Matthew has agreed to make our suppers every night. He is an excellent cook and can even make homemade pizza dough. I let him make the list of all the things HE wants to make. There is a specific meal planned for a specific night. For example: On Sunday night, we will have hamburgers. This will be the same every Sunday night.

12. “Amy’s Lunches”

This is the same as Matthew’s suppers, except Amy gets to make the lunches. She also chose the daily meals. These will also remain the same, week after week.

13. “Wish List”

I wrote on the main page of this divider: “Presents and things we want are for special occasions only (birthdays, holidays, etc.). When you see something you really want, write it here in this section. Note: It is a public record and everyone will see it!!”
This is where the children can write what they want. There are pages in here with spaces to write their name, the date and the item they want.

This is beneficial in two ways:
First, the children aren’t constantly asking for things.
Second, we all can look through this and buy them a gift, when needed, as a surprise.

14. “Internet Look up”

My husband and the children often ask me to research something. I am the only one who uses the main computer. So this can get tiring. In this section, they can list what they need from me and I will get to it sometime during the day or within a couple of days.

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This binder has been amazing. It works so well. Everything is well planned and I don’t have to “think” or “worry anymore.”
I have so much more free time. My house looks wonderful and I can still enjoy cleaning it myself. I can relax and be happy. This is such a blessing!


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