Saturday, May 30, 2009

Driver's License for Women?

I really want to know what you all think about a woman having a driver's license. What I mean is, what if you don't want one? What if you don't want your own car and you just want to stay home?
I find myself going through a bit of a rough phase in life right now. I have two older children who need rides to work and such. Then I have a middle child who needs rides to classes (music, dance). We have no public transportation here and are in a rural area, but I do not like being taken away from home so often. It interrupts my peaceful spirit here at home and it tempts me to do a little shopping or buy quick meals instead of making them myself.
I know two people who don't have a license:

1. My sister-in-law. She walks or rides her bike for regular visits and such. She is in good health and good physical shape. She is a housewife with two older teen daughters. She lives near the beach and if she has anywhere else to go, her husband drives her, or does the errands on his way home from work.

2. My mother-in-law (who has recently passed away). She was home all the time. It was precious! That home was such a creative place to be. She didn't have to go anywhere.

Growing up, our family lived in a busy suburban neighborhood. I walked all over the place. We also had public transportation so we could travel on longer trips (like the mall) when we needed to. I also could take the bus to work or school (as a teenager) if I had to.

I understand that I have no choice at this time. We cannot walk where we have to go in this area. But I do long for the day when I can be home more. In the meantime, I bring a book or sewing project with me so I have something to do while I sit and wait through appointments or for the children's classes to be over and such. Sometimes, I even bring a notebook to plan goals, homemaking ideas and menus. I know this phase will pass, and I just have to find a way to make it a joy.

In the old days, it was an "event" to "go into town" and didn't happen very often. People had so many things to do at home and didn't venture away too far or too often. I know things are not the same and times change, but I would like things to be more of the ideal I crave.

I am really wondering if anyone else feels the way I do?

Mrs. White


The Machinist's Wife said...

I don't enjoy having to go to 'town'. I would prefer to stay home, or at least within our small little village. I don't 'need' to got to town, on an emotional level and strangely enough, my eldest daughter said to me just two days ago 'mamma, where has your gypsy spirit gone?' I told her I had exchanged it! So many folk presume that our family 'needs' to get out. My children enjoy taking their own cars and running their errands, and I have the privilege and blessing of asking them to do errands for me now. There's some that I cannot send them for, as they are our own (private) business errands. Each week, I usually take my parents into town, as they enjoy the trip and do their grocery shopping. It is a big day for them, and it is a big day for me. I think my parents miss living in town and enjoy it more than I do. So bottom line is - I prefer not to be driving around, but by needs, have to.

Moxie said...

I don't think a person "has" to have one....but it is nice for emergencies to be able to drive oneself. Maybe (I don't really know) you are just too busy....with all the kids stuff. Could you limit classes or is ride share an option with others who attend the class? Anyway I think it's just fine to not have one...but you may have to wait for things and be waiting on people to help you more...which for somethings is no big deal...but for others like doctor visitsor grocery could be a hardship.

Tovah said...

Whew! I get so tired of the whirlwind of reasons that we need to go away from our home. Drs. appointments, dental appointments, orthodontist appointments etc. With 7 children this can end up with several things a week happening. Considering that we live about 45 minutes from anywhere, each outing involves a minimum of 3 hours.

I often wish we could just stay home. However, I feel it would be irresponsible to not have a driver's license. We had a friend who was in this situation and anytime one of the children needed medical attention, the husband had to schedule time off of work or one of her neighbors had to drive them. This was not especially fun for me, the neighbor, to suddenly have to drop what I was doing to run them to town because she was exercising her choice not to have a license.

She did get her license though:). I feel like it is blessed to stay home as much as we are able, but to be responsible adults we need to be qualified to drive unless we have a medical condition which prohibits that.

Beth (aka Tovah)

Mrs. White said...

I think that maybe things will just slow down when the children are all grown up. Then I can be the grandmother who is always home!
Mrs. White

Mrs. White said...

Tovah, it would never be good if it caused a burden on someone else!! That is hard. What I am thinking more of, is for those ladies who live in an area with public transportation for emergencies and such. Growing up, our town bus would take us right to the doctor's office. Later, when I had a couple of children, I would take the bus to do a little bit of grocery shopping. It made life so much more interesting. The problem with driving is that it is so tempting to go out much more often that we should. If we were home more and it was more of a hassle to go out, I think we would be far more creative at home with the resources we already have.
Mrs. White

~ Denise ~ said...

I don't have a license, either! (Hee hee) And neither does my grandmother (father's side). She's in her 80's and has her daughter drive her around if a particular place isn't within walking distance, or if the weather's far too dangerous for her to be out walking in (they live in Michigan where the winters can be brutal).

Anyway, I'm torn on this issue a bit, too. I don't like having to leave the house too much, but do find myself walking almost everyday to get things for supper or what-have-you. But I also enjoy going for walks, just to get some fresh air/exercise.

However, I can see how my learning to drive would ease a burden on my husband who has to cart me and the children around on weekends/evenings. Although he ever says he minds, I think at times he does. Especially if he's had a particularly rough day at work.

I do ride the bus to the office, which isn't bad. But that's about the only time I utilize public transportation, however it is plentiful out in our area (city). I can take a bus wherever I or the children need to go, if it's not within walking distance.

Anonymous said...

I am new here. I know this post is older, but I have been thinking the same thing lately!

Laura Lane said...

I reached this stage in the last year or so. We now have two vehicles thanks to a woman at church giving us her old car. Thank you God. We live three miles out of town, but we go to church in the next town about 10-15 miles from here. I am called upon to drive everyone. Three teens and a mid-twenties son who does not have a car. It really wears on me and my home suffers. I have a break two days this week. Yay!

I would rather stay home, too. Oh, and I always say, "Bring a book." They will probably put it on my gravestone!

Be blessed!
Mrs. Laura Lane

Kerri Gallion said...

I can truly relate to this. I grew up with my mother not getting her drivers license until she was 43 so I was 10 when she learned to drive. We did depend on my dad to take us to town and it was such a treat. We didn't go to town every day of the week. My dad taught school, then in the Summer he ran a Go-Kart Track so he was gone long hours of the day, then he pastored a church on Sundays. It never dawned on me until now that going to town truly was a treat. We also had Saturday morning cartoons, something that has also gone by the wayside. I so long for those days again.

Anonymous said...

I wish I didn't have a drivers licence!! I would then have a great excuse to not run errands. Leaving the home for me is very distracting to my routine at home, too!! Staying home is something many cannot understand, much less all the time, without a car. Most people ask me why i don't choose to go out much. The answer is simple.. I don't want too ! :) Now that the children are grown, it is not nearly a burned as when it was an everyday occurrance running here and this, to that. Thank God those years of running around are over.. it was truly taxing on the nerves.

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