Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Harried Homeschool Mom

Jardin de Paysanne

I crave a quiet, unhurried life at home. But sometimes I am overwhelmed with all I have to do. When the children were young, it was easier to be settled at home. Life was more structured and peaceful. As the children grow into the teen years and start becoming adults, more is required of me. I have more errands, more worries, more stress.

Sometimes I am so busy that we do homeschooling in the car. Here is how it works:

Someone needs a ride to work or a class. I take the youngest (13) so he can do some of his assignments in the car. I can be there to help if he has a question. He manages to do several books on each trip. This is not ideal, but homework must not be neglected.

At other times, I am forced to make a decision - on the spot. This is what happens:

A teenager will want to go somewhere or do some new thing. I stand there staring with a blank look on my face. How am I supposed to answer? Suddenly the weight of the world is on my shoulders. My decision might impact this child's life! Are they allowed to visit that friend, or go to that place? Why must I answer right now? Why do I have to feel this pressure?  Sometimes I cannot cope with all the questions and adventures these teenagers seek. Sometimes I flinch.  But the rule I've learned to keep is that we will not do any last minute plans. I need time to think and father must be consulted.

This week there has been so much schoolwork to do. There have been so many errands and chores. I became worn out. This stage will pass, I know. . . In a few months one of the older children will get his license and there will be less driving of me, less required. There will be more peace for me at home.

Yesterday, my oldest child came home for a visit. She is 23 years old and an adult. She works hard and has her own home. She has wisdom and maturity as an older sister and is a joy to have back home. She helped with the housework and made homemade pizza for us all. She was here for several hours and worked with Amy (16). I was able to rest. It was such a blessing.

Three of the children working in the kitchen.

When the children help with the housekeeping, I am greatly relieved and able to rest. Yet, there is a sadness for me. I miss that precious work of keeping a home. I enjoy the relaxed pace of doing dishes, lighting candles, listening to classical music and creating a lovely meal. Those are the things that keep me calm. Those are the precious tasks that help me stay gentle and meek.

Somehow, this harassment of life for this homeschool Mother must be straightened out. There must be a solution to all this work - these errands, these demands. Somehow I will find a solution and will no longer be harried. I will then be able to take on all the other trials with more strength and courage.

Mrs. White

I love to have A Jane Austen Day - when I am worn out.

There is a Delicate Beauty in Homemaking.

I need this inspiration - What I learned from my Husband's Weariness.

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Mama Hen said...

I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Someone said something to me just yesterday about how they were worried about me and all that I have to do. They said, "You just have so many things on your mind all at one time." And it is true. I need to pray that Jesus will be on my mind and I will make the decisions He would make."

Debbie S. said...

I could have written this post about feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I often wonder why I feel this way all the time. Do other homeschooling moms feel like this? I never feel like I've accomplished all that needs to be done.

I also relate to the teens constantly asking for privileges and just standing there, trying to think it through, yet feeling like I have to give an answer right then.

Life gets so much more complicated the older they get. Recently, as my son creeps up to the age of 18, I am just throwing up my hands and giving it to God. I've worked diligently to raise up a godly young man and so far he has proven himself trustworthy. I'm turning over some decisions to him and turning my own mind to prayer.

Thanks for being so "real". I enjoyed reading from your heart.

Anonymous said...

my children are raised and gone, it is a season, this new season of having long quiet stretches is also an adjustment, then you will miss the hustle and bustle. My husband always had a rule while they were teens; No last minute surprises. things must be planned in advance(events did come up and had to be dealt w/ quickly) but that was the general rule. God gives us peace, as our minds are focused on Him.Savor this season. I know easier said than done:)

Beth West said...

As soon as you figure out how to deal with all the craziness, please tell us!

Pebblekeeper ~ Angie said...

I love what I learned at a conference a couple of years ago - "Just do the next thing." When my day starts spinning, and I start thinking of all the evening plans after my body is tired from our morning learning - I stop. And just Do The Next Thing. Forecasting into all I have to do mentally wears me out more than the sweet tasks themselves. We also try to stick with the "Just One Thing" for outside pursuits per day, but I'm sure that might change as they get older!
Prayers for you, that He gives you rest, that His yoke is light, and that your mind will be filled with joy and giggles today.

Ellen said...

So many times I have felt all the emotions you wrote about in this post...there have been a great many days where I have felt overwhelmed at all I have to do..and be...I wonder if I am doing everything right?...enough?
Blessings to you as you go through each day..striving to be all the Lord has in store for you. ♥

mommyx12 said...

Definitely sounds like my life. It is so hard to slow down when homeschooling. I feel for ya.

Our Life and Journey! said...

Your daughters are beautiful! It's so nice to put faces to the names.Right now I'm also going thru something like that with my teens.The questions,if they can go to a certain place or even the things that they talk about sometimes! I have to ask Jesus quietly in my heart for help especially in my answers to them.I always come away encourged and blessed after reading your posts! Once again, Thank you!

Teri said...

What a beautiful blog! In and of itself it is a respite for moms...even when busy and harried!
Thank you for being a balance between challenge, reminder, and open honesty that is transparent enough to remind each of us that without a Savior, we are nothing!

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