Domestic Happiness

Flowers at Mrs. White's Table

This year has been very difficult for my family, as well as for many others.  There have been deaths in our extended family, and the missing of those close ones who have been in Heaven some years. We all have trials and hardships we have to go through.  Sometimes stress from extended family, personal loss, or the worries and burdens we feel about family members, as they struggle in life, can make us miserable.   It is hard enough dealing with our own personal problems (such as chronic illness or paying bills), we have to learn not to take on the pain of those around us.   We will always care. We will always worry.  But we cannot let burdens take away our joy.

My husband has watched the movie "Fireproof" a couple of times this year, without me knowing.  It gave him some good ideas and he has been extra kind.  I have learned from him how important it is to be good and pleasant and to give to those we love, without conditions or expecting anything. It is a kindness based on personal contentment in the Lord.   This is part of being happy.

Some of us have grown children who are going through painful trials. This hurts our mother hearts.  It can overwhelm us with grief and cause us to always try to "help" or "fix it" for them.  But we have to learn to give the burden and the worry where it belongs, in the Hands of God through prayer!  He cares for the sparrows, takes care of His children, and He will surely take care of these trials.  There is a hymn that has been going through my mind over the last evening. It was a lesson to me on how to be happy, reminding me that burdens should be left at the foot of the cross, and I can walk away in peace and happiness. The song is "At the Cross" by Isaac Watts. The chorus is:


"At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light,
And the burden of my heart rolled away,
It was there by faith,
I received my sight,
And now I am happy all the day"


I have a little grandson whose parents are struggling through difficulties.  Whenever he would visit he loved to sing songs he learned in nursery school.   Because he loved music and singing, I would sing hymns to him and he loved them.  He loved the chorus of "Trust and Obey" where it says, "To be happy in Jesus."  He loved the word "happy" in a song.  In my car radio, I have a CD I always play of Elvis Presley Gospel music (from 1967).  When grandson rides in the car with me, his favorite song is "If the Lord Wasn't Walking by My Side," which has "happy" in the lyrics. Some of it is as follows:

"I don't know just what I'd do
If the Lord wasn't walking by my side
When I was drifting (when I was drifting on the sea of despair)
And I was wandering (I was wondering if Jehovah's up there)
When Jesus found me, (Jesus found me in my sinful life)
He heard me praying (he heard me praying on my knees at night)
Now I'm singing (Now I'm singing this happy song)
Because I'm happy (because I'm happy as I go along)
And I don't know (I don't know) just what I'd do
If the Lord wasn't walking by my side
What would I do, (What would I do when a tear fills my eyes)
What would I do (What would I do when it's my time to die)
Well I'd be lonely, discouraged
Burdened on the way
If the Lord wasn't walking by my side every day"

There are little common courtesies we do in a day that uplift one another in the home.  We can keep each other happy if we work at kindness.  But we must remember, it is impossible for us to exude joy if we do not strive to have it in our own hearts. We have to practice every single day to stay happy.  I love to sing hymns and read hymns because these stay in my mind and bring me peace. They are brought to my mind throughout the day to provide joy and contentment.  I am reminded of holy and godly things and this keeps me looking up instead of all around me.

When my husband goes out of his way to check on me in my homemaking, before he goes off to do a project in the garage, he is showing me kindness.  When he asked me if I wanted something special for my birthday this week (even though we don't have the money to waste), he is showing me kindness.  He is reminding me to always be happy.    In turn, I do the same for him and for my children and grandchildren. I serve them in love with sweet manners.  But we cannot do any of this in our own strength because trials can destroy our attitude very quickly!  We have to be slow and steady in the Lord - Bible reading, daily prayer, and the singing of hymns must be regular habits in the home to help keep us happy.

We can have joy in the Lord regardless of our circumstances. The key ingredient in this is TRUST.  If we trust the Lord with everything in our lives, and know His promises in the Bible, we will draw close to Him for comfort and guidance.  This is the greatest form of Happiness in life.  We show this by our sweet behavior (in manners and courtesy) to those in our home. This is the fruit of that trust in the Lord. 

My husband and I will often say to each other with a gentle, prodding smile, "Are you happy?" or we will say, "Be happy." This is how we remind each other what is truly important.  We instantly stop worrying for the moment. It gives us a time of respite to think on the word "happiness!" We know it has everything in the world to do with our level of gratitude to God for our very lives.

Be happy.  Be blessed.

- Mrs. White


P.S. Next week I will share with you the special thing we did for my birthday, which always falls on the week of Thanksgiving.


From the Archives -

Marriage - When Groceries are the Presents.

Joyful Days - Gracious Homemaking.

Financial Adventure - Living in Reduced Circumstances. 

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Mrs. White's special book for homemakers:"Introduction to Home Economics:  Gentle Instruction to Find Joy in Christian Homemaking." Paperback, 200 pages.