Monday, January 30, 2012
I just did it. . . I removed the word "happily" from my profile description. Does this mean I am not happy? Of course not! I am delighted and grateful to have Mr. White for my husband. We have been married for almost a quarter of a century. But for me to say I am "happily married" implies that we live in a fairy tale world. Those words may very well discourage someone else. Why? Because marriage is not really about happiness.
Mr. White and I have stood together and faced suffering, trials, tears, discouragement and tragedy. We have been pruned and given up more and more of 'self' for the good of our family. How can this be called "happy?"
Marriage is more about commitment and creating a lifelong family unit. It is being together through all of life's difficulties.
Yet there is a somber joy. . a contentment. . . a feeling of unbelievable gratefulness and humbleness in a long marriage. We are co-laborers in our home and life.
So for me to say we are "happily married" is superficial. It doesn't share the truth of the matter. And that is that we are gratefully married and have tremendous love and respect for each other. We do this through tears and laughter.
The marriage story, the secret of a good marriage, is the sadness in one's eyes from the pain of life, but the deep reverence the couple has for each other. Perhaps to say we are "luckily married" or that we are "blessed to be married" is more accurate.
But the greatest description of all, is the comfort of knowing we will stand side-by-side, through every hardship, through every joy, and despite any pain. . . . for as long as we both shall live.
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