Monday, July 18, 2016

Serving Mister

It used to be that a wife was greatly needed to make a home a place of rest and refreshment for her family. I remember seeing my Uncle (a preacher in the south) and Aunt in their home.  They lived in a trailer on some acres of land out in the country. It was a wonderful place to visit.

My Uncle had a recliner and he would sit there at the end of the day, watching the news on television while his wife prepared supper.  She made all the meals in the home and kept a clean and lovely home.  She made sure he had a glass of iced tea on hot summer days, and had his coffee ready when he needed it.  They were a happy and lovely couple, each knowing what jobs they were to do to have a happy marriage and a happy home.  My Uncle worked at a regular job and he also worked in the church as the preacher.  He preached the sermons, studied his Bible, prayed, visited the sick, took care of the congregation, provided for his family, and rested in his home. He was able to do all these things because he had a dedicated, loving wife at home.

My mother took care of my father. She served him, out of love and respect. They adored each other, always wanting to do special things for one another to show they were loved.  But Mother did the homekeeping.  She made the coffee, cooked the meals and cleaned the house.  Our home was a place of rest.  There was no bickering, or fights about who was supposed to do the laundry. There were no complaints about all the cooking and cleaning.  Mother would never even think of saying to Dad, "You get your own coffee, you have two feet. Get it yourself."  That was not the kind of home we had.  I think those types of fights are from people who tend to be either over-stressed or selfish.

I realize we are all imperfect people, doing our best in whatever work we are given to do in this life.  We also have to serve imperfect people, and sometimes that means doing nice things for people who are grumpy. (gentle smiles). But there is an angelic way of serving others. It is a way to do kind things, taking care of them, even when there is no reward.   Most all husbands have moments of irritability. This is especially common because they work out in a stressful word.  But a wife who takes care of her "Mister" regardless of his disposition, is a great blessing to her family. Her job is to create a bit of heaven on earth by being a homemaker.  Her job is so important to her husband, whether anyone realizes it or not!

The other day, I noticed my husband was in a tremendous amount of pain. I noticed this only because he was extra grumpy and short tempered. So I brought him a cup of coffee, and made sure he was comfortable in his chair.  I sweetly asked if there was anything else he needed, then I got back to my kitchen to do the dishes while listening to precious old gospel songs on the radio.   There is no way to serve our husbands in a sweet and sacrificial way unless we are full of the joy of the Lord.

There is a way to be an angelic wife.  We need to start fresh each day to do better. Here are some ways of becoming a loving servant in the home:

1.  Take time to read much of the Bible.

2.  Pray at regular times and throughout the day. (Thanksgiving prayers, and for help.)

3. Listen to sermons on CD, or on the computer, or read over your notes from church services.

4. Do your very best to attend a good, old fashioned church each week.

5.  Take extra effort and care each day to go out of your way to do something kind for your husband. (Such as making his favorite dessert, ironing his favorite shirt, serving his dinner before anyone else, telling him you appreciate him, etc.)

The kinder you are to your husband, the softer his heart will be towards you.  Every time we serve our husbands in the home, by cooking the meals, cleaning the house, taking care of the children (in a loving and grateful way) we are serving the Lord.  That is the most important thing.  Being a good wife is serving the Lord.  When we do this cheerfully and happily, we will be rewarded with a grateful and happy husband.

It is the happiest moment in my day, when I bring Mister his coffee and see him smile a loving smile.  I am doing what my mother and aunt and all the wonderful wives before me have done all along.  It is the secret of a happy godly marriage - to serve our husbands in the home.

Mrs. White

From the Archives -

So Precious - A Wife Who Does Not Complain.

Remembering my Childhood - Saturday Morning Chores.

Bring Back Manners - Mrs. or Miss and other Titles of Respect.

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Find Home-keeping Inspiration, and Encouragement
 in Mrs.White's book -Mother's Book of Home Economics .  

Paperback, 312 pages.


Mrs. Laura Lane said...

Very very good advice my friend!

Unknown said...

Greetings Mrs. White,
Thank you for such a lovely reminder of serving our husbands and family with such love and respect. A biblical command that should be followed, never to be taken lightly, as it's carried out on a daily basis, through much prayer and the reading of God's Scriptures. It is the only we can accomplish our given roles.

Like you, I too was raised in a home where my daddy was served, loved and respected, yet we were not a Christian home as of yet. For as long as I remember my momma worked the home, took care of my dad and six children with such love and dedication, and held a home based business as an amazingly talented seamstress.

Much of my homemaking skills come from watching my momma very closely and imitating what she modeled.

Today, I have a 17 year old daughter, that follows we everywhere [while being homeschooled] and watches me like a hawk! She too is being polished by not just me her momma, but by other very close, and very nurturing women of God that the good Lord has blessed us with.

Thank you for your beautiful, homey, cozy, old fashioned writings, they truly are an example and an inspiration to me and my family.

Many Blessings,


Jennifer said...

I was raised in a home like this. I thank God often for my godly mother who set such a great example on how to be a good wife to my sisters and me. I know it's had a positive effect on the home I am now trying to create.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. White, I have spent my simmer with you and Mrs. Hilquist thanks to your books. Our lives are very different, but you books and posts bring me much joy thank you, Lori

Suzanne said...

Thank you for writing this , Sharon. The world needs this reminder all too well, but we Christian homemakers do, too. We have to stay the course:-)

Unknown said...

Wonderful article. I absolutely agree. Thank you for the encouragement. Sadly, too few homes follow this model anymore and I do believe that's part of the reason why so many are crumbling.

living from glory to glory said...

Dear Mrs. White, I will say this about this post, it was so good I read it twice... We will have the best marriage if we would just love and honor and respect our husbands by serving them, the world would be so much happier and content! When we respond to the kindness and joy you wrote about to our husbands it would make anyone kinder in return! Pain can make any one of us grumpy! I love the picture in my head after reading this!!
Home Sweet Home...
Thank you!
Always, Roxy

A Candle to Read By said...

There is so much wisdom in this post, Mrs. White. As women, we are not diminished by serving and loving our husbands. I fear society today has tossed these God-given roles aside.

Grace and Tea For Me said...

Mrs. White:
Thank you for the words of wisdom you shared with us. It is a wonderful blessing to care for our husbands and to encourage them on the way.
Mrs. B

Deanna said...

Hello Mrs. White. Wonderful post you have written and shared. Enjoyed this one very much. Especially what you have said, 'But a wife who takes care of her "Mister" regardless of his disposition, is a great blessing to her family. Her job is to create a bit of heaven on earth by being a homemaker. Her job is so important to her husband, whether anyone realizes it or not!'
Blessings to you always,

Tammy said...

Lovely post, just what I needed today.
Our a/c went out (as in died) so we are using
window units in our small mobile home.

It does not get below 84 in the living room,
and the a/c runs all the time. The heat drains
you, and makes you grumpy and sluggish. Chores
get done, but take much longer and are unpleasant.

This post was a good reminder to be cheerful
and grateful despite the hardships, because we/I
am still blessed with my own 'mister' and 'little
sir'. :D

Anonymous said...

Thank you for a most wonderful post. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed with work, thank you for helping sort out priorities.
God bless you. Ana

Anonymous said...

God bless you Mrs. White for soldiering on (gently) and inspiring us to do the same when the world yells the opposite. I was the wife for 9 years doing it the world's way, the feminist way. Miserable and my family around me. I was saved, and the Lord has taught me, for 9 years SINCE then, to become a godly wife and mother. I have never had more joy. Trials? Yes, we have had them..but the Joy of the Lord and HIS ways have prevailed. I praise Him. I am a living testimony of trying it BOTH ways. I was raised by a single, feminist mother. I did not learn from home how to serve, and definitely did not learn to work joyfully. I am grateful that my mother cared for me. She did work hard, but has to find the Joy of the Lord and salvation.
" Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls..."
Jeremiah 6:16

Mandy Dawson Farmer said...

This is the kind of heritage I have as well.

I love seeing all these comments from women who agree that this is the way God planned for things to be. Sometimes you get the feeling that you are all alone out there because the world has forgotten how to think and care about anything but themselves.

Thank you for this beautiful description of a home.

Coming to you from Wholehearted Wednesday #48 & 49

Anonymous said...

Mrs. White, "The Dollmaker" is on YouTube. I watched it this morning because you had mentioned it and so enjoyed it.

Deborah Montgomery said...

Very wise words. I think it's important to point out that you serve your husband even when he's grumpy. It's a sign of true sacrificial love when you can cheerfully serve someone who may not be particularly "nice" at the time, instead of just when they are in good moods. Your service helps soften the grumpiness, so both of you benefit!

Lori said...

Wise advice, Mrs. White. Thank you for sharing this encouragement with Thankful Thursdays.

Unknown said...

Such wisdom in this advice! I have found this to be so true- both in Scripture and in experience. It's hard to be tender toward someone day in and out (especially when they are grumpy) when you are not kind to them and don't delight in serving them. So thankful for God's way and your wise words this morning!

Unknown said...

Wondeful post and something we all need to hear as wives. Thanks for sharing at good morning Mondays. Blessings

Anonymous said...

When I was newly married I never thought two\ice about checking to see if my husband wanted a refreshment or needed anything. Yes I worked at home but he worked out in the tough world and I appreciated him. We are taught to serve in the Bible. Even our Master washed his decibels feet to show them the way. The other wives would think I was silly and being demeaned to make sure my own husband was comfortable. That puzzled me. I kept it up though. We are also to love and take care of others as we would want them to do for us. They couldn't see it at all. Sadly we are the only couple on that street of young couple still married. Married almost 50 years. Marriage is done with mutual respect. You don't keep score of who does what and when. You learn what is right from your Bible and never mind what others do. I am so glad you brought this up. A sweet reminder. Sarah