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| Library of Congress: Drawing Room Charles Edmonston House, South Carolina. |
It is wonderful to have a happy home. It is a blessing to be peaceful and content. We may be facing trials and problems each day, but our focus on goodness and faith can keep us calm.
I would like to share some suggestions that may help keep your days peaceful and give you some rest. It is a gracious way of living with gentle manners and a rule book for life.
The most important part of our life is to follow the precious commandments in Scripture. That, of course, is the first step. But there are also other rules that will help us. These are practical and important. Here are some ideas:
1. Quiet Evenings are important to get a good night sleep. A rule might be that you do not accept phone calls after a certain time (unless it is from close family members.) Very often, these calls are messages of world news, worries, troubles, accusations and arguments, and even idle gossip that will trouble your mind. It is hard to fall asleep after such conversations.
2. When approached by others for a favor or a request for assistance, never answer right away. This is an essential rule. Our natural instinct is to be nice and make everyone happy. This often results in a quick "yes" when we didn't even have time to think about what we were agreeing to. Often this ends up causing turmoil and difficulty within our own family because we overextend ourselves or don't realize what we are getting into. Instead of saying, "yes," try these responses: "I will give that some thought." "I will need to get back to you on that." Or, "I am not sure." In this way you have more time to pray, consider, consult your family, etc. Many times your final response might have to be "no."
Take time to make careful decisions. This rule is a helpful guideline.
3. It is very possible that mothers can be "smooth" talked by teenagers. Try to avoid this. For example, a teenager might say, "Mom, can I go to Betsy's party?" She tells you how wonderful it is going to be. You love your daughter and she looks so sweet and kind so your reflex is to say "yes" right away. You want her to be happy. You want to be nice. But it is more important to hold off on a decision. Take time to investigate further. It is very possible that "Betsy's" party was really at a campground without proper supervision.
In my childhood home, I would ask my father for permission to go out or do some fun thing. He always took days to give me an answer. I learned to have a great deal of patience from this. I also realized, years later, that he needed time to pray and think and consider before he gave me an answer. A good rule is to wait. Be slow to speak. Take time to pray.
4. Budgets are very important. If we have a financial plan, we will not be distracted by every little sales gimmick. Our rules for money are on paper and we follow them carefully. This brings peace. I also want to mention that one should avoid loaning money to others in certain circumstances. For example, if you take cash you intended for basic necessities and the person is not able to pay you back, you will suffer in want and possibly become bitter. A better way is to try to set aside a little money on a regular basis so you can give to others when a need arises. In this way you will be able to help and feel blessed without looking for something in return.
5. A regular schedule for the day helps tremendously. When we have meals at a certain time each day, or do the same chores each day, we form important habits that become a routine. This routine is like following little rules of cleanliness and good health.
6. There are certain social customs we should know. It is always best when we use certain phrases such as "please" and "thank you." Good manners include making others feel welcomed. Our acts of kindness and being polite in all of our conversations will bring happiness to those around us. Good manners are most important in everyday language, especially at home.
7. Maintain a calm demeanor, regardless of the circumstances. A gracious lady does her best to avoid a range of outward emotions such as giving in to anger or extreme sorrow. I will tell you where she gets her strength. It is from a close walk with the dear Lord. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)
8. Learn the beautiful promises in Scripture and form a habit of reading them each day. As you slowly take in the messages, it will bring rest to your heart and strength to your spirit.
If we do our very best to live a life based on rules rather than circumstances we will do well. Much of what goes on around us is out of our control. If we can avoid reacting based on emotions or moods, we can help set a gentle atmosphere in the home.
Family life can be full of peace and genuine rest. Setting up rules for our days will help bring us comfort and guidance. These are like boundaries intended to keep us safe with a feeling of security and assurance. It is a gracious way to live.
Blessings
Mrs. White
From the Archives -
A Precious Lifetime of Duty at home at - The Mission House.
A Humble, Simple Life - Standard of Living.
The beautiful testimony of the Mother of D.L. Moody - Poverty in the 1800's.
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For Encouragement in Christian Homemaking, order Mrs. White's book, "
Homemaking For Happiness: Wonderful Days at Home."
In this book, you will find essays, articles, and diary entries about life in a Christian home.
Entries
are arranged by season, and include: "Keeping a Frugal Kitchen;"
"Missing the Lilacs;" "An Evening Walk in the Garden;" "At Grandmother's
House;" and "Chores for Grandchildren."
You will also find a few photographs showing a little of the local landscape.
Paperback, 307 pages.