Chore Notes for My Husband

Library of Congress: McRaith family, Minnesota, 1942.

There is a great deal of work involved in taking care of a home and family. We often have 8 or 10 people in this house at a time. It is a privilege and an honor to regularly welcome 3 generations of our family into our home. There are uncles and aunts. There are grandchildren and grandparents. We all work together, taking care of one another throughout each day.

My husband and I each have our own chores.  I am often washing dishes, or baking in the kitchen. I oversee little helpers as they sweep and wash the table.  My husband oversees the maintenance and care of the house and grounds. Sometimes we forget important things we need to do. 

When I needed a screen replaced on one of the back windows, I did not want to be annoying with reminders to my husband. But we needed the fresh air to come in through the back of the house. I had been asking about this repair for a couple of years. I would only mention it in passing, because we always have so much on our minds. My husband's answer to these types of requests were the same, "Remind me," he would tell me. Then we would both go back to whatever work we were doing. I would have to leave it at that and know he would eventually take care of it.

There is nothing worse than an unhappy home, where fighting and strife abound. If we nag each other or get impatient, we are not showing mercy and grace. We are not showing compassion. We have to give each other the time to do things as we are physically and mentally able.  Our minds need just as much rest as our bodies. And even if I have just spent a few hours doing paperwork, bills, or handling phone calls, it doesn't seem to be manual labor. But I still need a rest!  If my husband came to me when I was not feeling well or when I just did some other work, to ask me to take on another chore, I would hope he would patiently wait for me to get to it when I was ready. I need to show him the same courtesy.

I have always been one to write notes to myself. I have little scraps of paper and post-its on my desk. They are filled with little things I need to do, or appointments I want to remember.  Often, I will write a note at night and leave it on my desk. It will tell me I need to be somewhere that morning, or I need to make a phone call. These notes help me to remember what I am too overwhelmed to keep in mind.

Last year, I realized that the easiest way to remind my husband of things I needed him to do would be to write him a note.

I would write about things that really needed to happen, but in whatever time he was able to get to them. I used a piece of scrap paper and wrote very neatly, in large letters (so he could see without his reading glasses) - "Please Fix the Screen on the Upstairs Window." I left the note on the coffee table and simply went about my day. I didn't need to think about it anymore. I didn't need to worry.  The note was there. The work would get done.

 A short time later, I was stunned to realize he had taken care of this long neglected problem. He has a Yankee-way of doing things that save us a great deal of money. He simply found an old roll of screen in the garage, that grandfather had left here, and cut out a piece to fit the window.  (Great-Grandfather and Great-Grandmother lived here with us, in this large 1850's house for 9 years. At one point we had four generations living together in this house. They have since gone home to Heaven.)

Soon I was able to open the back window and enjoy all the lovely fresh air coming into the house. I was delighted.

Since writing a note seemed to work so well, I tried it again, in early spring:  "Please put the fence back around my strawberry garden."  This tiny, decorative fence had been taken down and spray painted.  Another note, written before cold winter days: "Please clean out the upstairs stove." Our wood pellet stove had to be vacuumed and cleaned before the cold weather started. I needed that stove to be ready to go! 

After much success with my notes, I soon realized that my husband was not purposely ignoring these necessary chores. He just kept forgetting them. Once I started writing out these notes, things started to happen. 

Soon my husband began to ask for the notes! One day, I reminded him that a repair man was expected to come over the following day. He said to me, "Write me a note." I got a piece of scrap paper and wrote, in large print:  "Oil company coming at 11 a.m. tomorrow." Then I put it on the coffee table. He saw the note throughout the day and remembered little things he wanted to do to get ready.  This method has been a wonderful help to our busy household.  

It is a blessing when we can find a solution to get along peacefully amidst all the duties of life. A pleasant routine of chores and helping each other in the work is a wonderful form of service in the home. These are kind deeds which will help bring happiness to the family.

Blessings

Mrs. White

From the Archives -

The Blessing of  -  The Mother Who Isn't Busy.

Happy and Frugal Kitchen work  - Basic Cookery.

What Many of us Crave - An Ordinary Life at Home.

 

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  For Encouragement in Christian Homemaking, order Mrs. White's book, "Homemaking For Happiness: Wonderful Days at Home."

In this book, you will find essays, articles, and diary entries about life in a Christian home.

Entries are arranged by season, and include:  "Keeping a Frugal Kitchen;" "Missing the Lilacs;" "An Evening Walk in the Garden;" "At Grandmother's House;" and "Chores for Grandchildren."

You will also find a few photographs showing a little of the local landscape.

Paperback, 307 pages.