Saturday, October 20, 2012
At any moment, we are troubled by many things. Our peace, in this world, is always on the brink of danger. A feeling of calmness, that things are okay, is often elusive.
The main offense, that robs us of our peace, are the words of others. This may be news, gossip, slander, troubles, or facts. When someone speaks words of discord to us, or speaks words of facts that will upset us, they have spoken something dangerous that will disturb our souls.
Everything we see, or hear, or experience, does not have to be shared with others. What we say to others, can cause them harm, even if the information is true. What we share with others, even in confidence, can cause them pain, even if that was not the intention. Do not trouble the mind of others. Do not disturb their peace.
The Chofetz Chaim tells us that "Loshan hora (lit., evil talk) is defined as information which is either derogatory or potentially harmful to another individual.. . . . A statement that could potentially bring harm to someone - be it financial, physical, psychological or otherwise - is loshon hora, even if the information is not negative."
I cannot even count the number of times someone told me something, or shared some news with me, that I considered to be gossip. They considered it to be telling me something important or what I needed to know, but I considered it a disturbing of my peace. Often, people tell me things just before I face a trial. Or just before I am about to go to sleep. Then I am troubled for hours. But I keep the "news" to myself, so as not to spread the harm of a disturbed mind.
Will there ever come a day when genuine gossip will cease? Genuine gossip is sharing truth with others. Even this is a vexation of spirit. Why bring people down with facts and news and sad things?
When will we learn to speak life into others? When will we learn to share positive, uplifting words that will encourage a weary soul?
Be quiet. . . Be meek. . . Keep it to yourself. . . It is a blessing, a good deed, to spare someone the pain of negative talk. More often than not, they really don't need to know what you are about to say.
P.S. It just occurred to me that homes where there is constant drama and misery are homes where gossip and sharing of the latest troubles are daily conversations. While homes where the residents use restraint and discretion in speech are happy and peaceful.
Grace Kelly wouldn't be one of these - Bossy Wives.
Fill the Mind with This - A Humble Parlour as a School of Theology.
A Precious Time - The Respite Before Church.
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