Monday, April 11, 2011

Mother's Domain

Secluded Sanctuary

Early this evening, I cleaned and tidied the house while listening to Frank Sinatra sing, Young at Heart. I thought of life in the early 40's and 50's. I worked with a cheerful, carefree heart. I vacuumed without a worry in the world. It's amazing how the simple act of housekeeping can take away all my troubles.

Earlier today, I was almost in despair thinking about my older children. Why do we mothers become busybodies in our children's lives? Sometimes I think we know too much. Sometimes we ask questions and cringe when we hear answers.  I crave the days of innocence. I want to think the very  best of my children. I enjoy being naive.   I remember, many years ago, when my oldest daughter was home visiting. She is now 23 years old, but she was probably 19 at the time. We sat together in the living room and she said, "Mom, you think too highly of us kids. We could be sitting here smoking right in front of you and you wouldn't believe it. You'd say, not my kids."  My oldest son, when he was younger, wouldn't dream of saying a swear in front of me. It's not that he was worried about getting in trouble, he just wanted to show respect. It was many years before I heard him say a rude word. I was grateful. Now he is too comfortable around me and swears often in regular conversation.   This is reality, dear mothers. This is the current generation. Our children are precious, good-hearted, loving, devoted, a blessing to others, and we are proud of them! Yet our children, like us, have sin natures. We live in a corrupt world that seeks to pull us away from our godly path. But there is a way to get through it as a mother. There is a way for us to survive while we wait for the spiritual growth of our beloved children and the rewards of our hard work.  We have to get into our own little world - our own little domain and find peace.

There is a phrase called, "Ever- cheerful." I know people who have a sunny disposition all the time. They think positively.  There is a way to be pleasant, joyful and upbeat if we learn to create our own joy despite trials.  Sometimes I get in a rut and am too caught up in the negative - what is going wrong, or what might go wrong. When this happens, my husband calms me down. He helps make everything okay. The other day he told me that I need to get my own life. He did not mean for me to run around and go out of the house to work, or goof off. He meant that I need to establish my own interests and projects here at home, so I am not so caught up in the worries of my grown children. This is great advice. So I clean or read good books or I plan my first garden. I think about what we will do this summer.  I find ways to make home a happy haven, for us all, - despite the worldly problems.

There are times I will sit in my room and watch old black and white movies - like Shirley Temple, or The Donna Reed show. I will escape for just long enough to be refreshed and encouraged. Sometimes one or two of the children will come and watch the programs with me. I suppose you could say I am caught in a time warp.  I find comfort and happiness in Frank Sinatra songs and old movies. And yes, my quiet times with the Bible are also invaluable.

Some might say I hide in my house. But what they don't realize is that Mother's Domain is the sweetest retreat of all.

Mrs. White

To Encourage you - Evening Time for Mother.

The Blessing of a Long and Happy Marriage - Some fun - Are you Still Tricking your Wife?

A Quick little visit. Won't you come with me downstairs and see what it's like - At Mother's House.

An Invitation - Subscribe to The Legacy of Home and have it delivered directly to your email.



Jan said...

Beautiful post and well written. One of the things that I am weakest at is stress management and you have just reminded me that we can just choose to be calm and in charge of our domains. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

We cannot get on their roller coaster. It steals a lot of our joy.. Your husband is correct.When they see they can't get a rise out of you, they pretty much stop.:)
thanks for writing .

Dolores said...

Dear Mrs. White,
Wow could I ever relate to this post! My daughter is 27 and I still get upset with every little problem she has. She lives with us so it is too easy to be monitoring her moods and difficulties. I try not to interfere and give my opinion but it is so hard. At times I make myself ill worrying about teeny tiny little problems she has.
Love your blog and I hope everything works out. Dolores

Anonymous said...

Hi Mrs. White!
I haven't commented in awhile because we are getting our house ready to be packed up to move stateside! I just wanted you to know I have been praying for you because I know my mom worries about my brothers and I even though we are all adults :) I had a chuckle when you said you live in a time warp because I am right there with you even though I am only 27! I love listening to big band/swing music and collecting antiques. I think it has a lot to do with spending a large amount of time with my grandparents growing up and hearing about " the good old days :) ".
Sarah L.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs White,
What a wonderful encouragin post. I have subscribed to your blog for some time but I am not sure I have ever commented. I have found your blog posts to be so real and relevant. I appreciate your posts and feel like a warm word of ncouragement from a sister has arrived in my inbox each day. Bless you from Sandra in New Zealand

Laura in AZ said...

Hi Mrs. White,
I'm a new reader here, so I just found this post even though you wrote it over a month ago.
As a mom of 5 myself (my kids range from 12-24), I can't thank you enough for writing with such honesty. I love my kids with all my heart, but they just don't stay little and innocent forever, do they? I've had to learn to accept them as they are and sometimes that means just praying and waiting. My oldest went through a goth stage---Thank God it seems to be over!
Thank you for the reminder that I'm in good company .

Alison said...

I love this post! I, too, like to 'escape' to the "old days" with 1940's music and old films. We can learn a lot from those wise mothers who lived with such grace! :)

Anonymous said...

I love you posts. I've been going back and reading the older ones.

My husband was just telling me last week I need to find a hobby as our first child will marry and leave our nest in 2 mths. So I signed up for sewing lessons. I want to conutinue to learn skills that will be useful and directed toward home.

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