Friday, May 5, 2023

Peaceful Living by Rules

Library of Congress: Drawing Room Charles Edmonston House, South Carolina.


It is wonderful to have a happy home. It is a blessing to be peaceful and content. We may be facing trials and problems each day, but our focus on goodness and faith can keep us calm. 

I would like to share some suggestions that may help keep your days peaceful and give you some rest. It is a gracious way of living with gentle manners and a rule book for life. 

The most important part of our life is to follow the precious commandments in Scripture. That, of course, is the first step. But there are also other rules that will help us. These are practical and important.  Here are some ideas:

1. Quiet Evenings are important to get a good night sleep. A rule might be that you do not accept phone calls after a certain time (unless it is from close family members.)  Very often, these calls are messages of world news, worries, troubles, accusations and arguments, and even idle gossip that will trouble your mind. It is hard to fall asleep after such conversations. 

2. When approached by others for a favor or a request for assistance, never answer right away.  This is an essential rule. Our natural instinct is to be nice and make everyone happy. This often results in a quick "yes" when we didn't even have time to think about what we were agreeing to.  Often this ends up causing turmoil and difficulty within our own family because we overextend ourselves or don't realize what we are getting into.  Instead of saying, "yes," try these responses: "I will give that some thought."  "I will need to get back to you on that." Or, "I am not sure."  In this way you have more time to pray, consider, consult your family, etc.  Many times your final response might have to be "no."  

Take time to make careful decisions. This rule is a helpful guideline.

3. It is very possible that mothers can be "smooth" talked by teenagers.  Try to avoid this.  For example, a teenager might say, "Mom, can I go to Betsy's party?" She tells you how wonderful it is going to be.   You love your daughter and she looks so sweet and kind so your reflex is to say "yes" right away. You want her to be happy. You want to be nice. But it is more important to hold off on a decision. Take time to investigate further.  It is very possible that "Betsy's" party was really at a campground without proper supervision.   

In my childhood home, I would ask my father for permission to go out or do some fun thing. He always took days to give me an answer.  I learned to have a great deal of patience from this. I also realized, years later, that he needed time to pray and think and consider before he gave me an answer.  A good rule is to wait.  Be slow to speak. Take time to pray.

4. Budgets are very important. If we have a financial plan, we will not be distracted by every little sales gimmick.  Our rules for money are on paper and we follow them carefully. This brings peace.  I also want to mention that one should avoid loaning money to others in certain circumstances. For example, if you take cash you intended for basic necessities and the person is not able to pay you back, you will suffer in want and possibly become bitter.  A better way is to try to set aside a little money on a regular basis so you can give to others when a need arises. In this way you will be able to help and feel blessed without looking for something in return.

5. A regular schedule for the day helps tremendously.  When we have meals at a certain time each day, or do the same chores each day, we form important habits that become a routine.  This routine is like following little rules of cleanliness and good health.

6. There are certain social customs we should know.  It is always best when we use certain phrases such as "please" and "thank you."  Good manners include making others feel welcomed. Our acts of kindness and being polite in all of our conversations will bring happiness to those around us. Good manners are most important in everyday language, especially at home. 

7. Maintain a calm demeanor, regardless of the circumstances. A gracious lady does her best to avoid a range of outward emotions such as giving in to anger or extreme sorrow.  I will tell you where she gets her strength. It is from a close walk with the dear Lord. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)  

8. Learn the beautiful promises in Scripture and form a habit of reading them each day. As you slowly take in the messages, it will bring rest to your heart and strength to your spirit. 

If we do our very best to live a life based on rules rather than circumstances we will do well. Much of what goes on around us is out of our control.  If we can avoid reacting based on emotions or moods, we can help set a gentle atmosphere in the home. 

Family life can be full of peace and genuine rest. Setting up rules for our days will help bring us comfort and guidance. These are like boundaries intended to keep us safe with a feeling of security and assurance. It is a gracious way to live.

Blessings

Mrs. White

 

From the Archives - 

 A Precious Lifetime of Duty at home at - The Mission House.  

A Humble, Simple Life - Standard of Living.

The beautiful testimony of the Mother of D.L. Moody - Poverty in the 1800's.


 - To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -


  For Encouragement in Christian Homemaking, order Mrs. White's book, "Homemaking For Happiness: Wonderful Days at Home."

In this book, you will find essays, articles, and diary entries about life in a Christian home.

Entries are arranged by season, and include:  "Keeping a Frugal Kitchen;" "Missing the Lilacs;" "An Evening Walk in the Garden;" "At Grandmother's House;" and "Chores for Grandchildren."

You will also find a few photographs showing a little of the local landscape.

Paperback, 307 pages.





10 comments:

KatieL said...

I love your point about living by rules, rather than circumstances. I hope you and yours have a peaceful weekend.

Wanda said...

Because of God's grace and mercy I have lived most of my adult life by thosse rules. Being a Pastor's wife, I was called on many time to do things, and I learned early on to not say a quick "Yes" because many times I really needed to say no. Or, I can't do it this time, but give me a call the next time you need this or that!
Also a Budget is so necessary.
Quiet time in the morning, and relaxing time at night. Yes makes the day and evening much better.

Thanks so much for sharing this. I think many women would benefit from your kind, thoughtful and helpful advice.

Jane said...

All are very wise rules to live by. Seems that everyone is such a rush these days, taking the time to prayerfully seek an answer is a thing of the past these days. The world would be in a much better place if people did.
Hugs
Jane

Marsha Harrup said...

WONDERFUL! I agree 100%

Mrs. Sabo said...

I needed this post in such a BIG way! Thank you for speaking God's desires to me today. God bless you Mrs. White

Deanna said...

Amen.
Blessings to you on this beautiful Spring day,
~d

Elizabethd said...

What a delightful post, so gentle and sensible. I so agree about thinking before replying to someone who has asked a favour. I have learned to say 'Let me think about that...'
Rules seem to have disappeared nowadays and manners with them, so sad.

Anonymous said...

One general rule I have, if someone asks me to do something regarding paperwork, calls, etc...., I will have it done within 24 hours after it hits my desk, or computer, or they ask. Then I do it. Of course this doesn't apply to urgent situations. This teaches those I deal with, both family and non family alike, that my schedule is important also. It also establishes great trust because they know, unless some unforseen catastrophe would occur, I will do everything within my power to do what I said I would do. As soon as it's done, I tell them or email them exactly what I did and provide them with any paperwork immediately if necessary. It's what I tell my children is "old school business". And, the biggest reward is when I see the same attitude emulated by other family members.

Amelia said...

I love the way your father took his time to respond and give an answer to a request. God definitely gives wisdom and discernment. That is wonderful!

After my nap in the afternoon or definitely when fixing supper and after I turn my ringer off. I've told our daughters and mother to please call my husband in an emergency, he is much better equipped than I and always has his ringer on. I have a 93 year old mom and I was tickled, she called my husband's phone because she found a mysterious copper pipe one morning going up her bedroom wall behind a plant, to her it was very important, sort of an emergency in her mind. He didn't mind, but was able to funnel the message to me.

It is very important to keep one's cool so to speak unless they are having a heart breaking day, and usually the next day is so much better after a good cry and crying out to the Lord. This heartbreaking kind of day is most rare but once in a blue moon it's just too much, it seems the enemy throws everything he can at all of us at one time on those crazy days.

Prayer is so important, it's best to talk to God about it all, my dad used to say: Most people either don't want to hear it or they don't care. lol It's easy to say now, but when we are in the midst of a battle it's not that easy is it? : ) I'm also finding most people, even older people (very shocking at times) have gone with the modern culture and they don't even start to understand things from the Lord's perspective.

On schedules, I love the rythms of life, I love coffee and prayer times early in the morning usually when still dark and I feel such safety in our supper times, even though it's just the two of us most of the time in this season of life. My husband is assured he will enjoy a nice hot balanced meal. Even bedtime, yes, there seems to be a safety in a sweet wholesome movie or program time in the family living room and then the tv is gently clicked off and off to dreamland at a decent time. Our youngest daughter who lives at home also enjoys this sweet show time and she's very regimented on her earlier bedtime for health reasons, she gently scoops her dauchsund up and up the stairs they go for good sleeps.

Very nice practical guidelines! God bless! I hope all is well.

So nice to see a new post Mrs. White! ~Amelia

Billie Jo said...

Hello! What a lovely post to read this afternoon. I will remember the one about taking time to respond to requests! Have a cozy evening!