Getting Along in Marriage

Stress and trials in daily life can cause fights in marriage.  Husband and Wife may argue about money, bills, the condition of the house, or the children.  A Husband might be angry with his wife for neglecting what she is supposed to do, while a wife might be angry with her husband for his hostility or mistreatment.  All this can be avoided, or lessened, if we use the most important technique in marriage.  It is so simple, yet so difficult!

It is all about using social manners.   It is common courtesy to show emotional restraint in public.  We must avoid creating a "scene" when we are upset. We hold back our frustration and anger for the good of those around us.  When a lady acts with such control, she is considered to be dignified and admirable.

We must learn, on a daily basis, no matter how often we are tempted to act otherwise, that we must act with grace in private, just as we would in public.

For those who tend to let their anger erupt and blow off steam to those around them, they must learn, by constant practice, to get control of their emotions.  It is extremely selfish to rant and rave and insult and blame when we are upset.  We cannot allow ourselves to get so angry that we lose our dignity. We must learn good manners.

Getting along in marriage, requires the skill of polite communication, no matter the circumstances around us.   For a husband and wife to 'fight fair' they should remember a few things:

1. They will have differences of opinions and will annoy each other. Expect this. We are all human and have flaws.   Have enough compassion to let these things go.

2. Avoid fighting in front of guests or your children.  To fight in front of others is one of the most selfish things we can do.  It shows a lack of restraint.  It shows a lack of dignity.

3. Never bring up past hurts.  It will only prolong a fight and make it more extreme.

4. Remember that it is normal to be upset with others, even those we love, but we should never allow our scathing words to rend the heart.  To make it plain  - watch your mouth!  . . Guard your words!

5. Never, ever, ever talk about your spouse in a negative way to others.   Guard the privacy of your home. This is an essential part of good manners.

An example of good manners in marriage reminds me of "The Waltons." The storekeeper's wife referred to her husband as "Mr. Godsey."  She only called him by his first name during private moments.  

When we wives learn how to use proper communication and emotional restraint in our daily lives, our good manners are observed by our children. They will learn from this. This will affect them for good and not evil.  Sadly, in this current "me-centered" society, it will take tremendous effort to practice proper manners in daily life. It will be an ongoing battle with our words and thoughts.  But it is worth every bit of effort! 

Remember this - a lady will use good manners even when no one else does. She will do this even if there is no reward.  She will do this because it is the right thing to do.

The joy of a happy marriage is based on a wife as the center of good morals, virtue and loveliness. This is all clearly seen by her behavior.  And it brings a light of beauty into a cold, sad world.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

The Stages of Child Raising with - Mother as the Coach.

Remembering when the Children were Little - A Mailbox in the House.

When Things get Very Busy - Cooking while Holding a Bible.



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