Summer Days with Small Children

Pink Hydrangeas on Mrs. White's front Porch 

We have been enjoying having the children and grandchildren over quite a bit the last few weeks. Summer days are a relaxing time to enjoy the outdoors and the peaceful pace of the season.

It is good to have a routine to prevent grumpiness in the family. Children can get overwhelmed with all the activity and they may get over-tired.  A routine and a schedule can help prevent this.

When I was growing up, all the mothers in the neighborhood were home.  I had relatives who lived on our street, as well as on a few streets over.  We would get together for picnics in our front yard.  There was watermelon and just happy times of playing.  We children would walk around the neighborhood, going to the corner store and to the private beach at the end of our Massachusetts street.

We were always delighted when the ice cream truck would drive down our road. We would be outside playing and hear the bell.  Since we lived on a dead-end road, we knew we had time to run to our Mothers for some change.  Then we would run back out to the sidewalk and wait with the money in our hands. We would just stand there, like good, sweet children, waiting patiently.  Soon we would hear the bell ringing and the truck would be heading back to us.  We loved taking our time choosing which treat we wanted.

When my own children were growing up, times were very different.  There were not so many mothers at home anymore.  But I kept a traditional summer routine, much like the one my mother had for us.

We would get up early and have our breakfast before the heat really settled in.  Any chores or baking had to be done in the morning hours.  I often started the process of supper before we got too tired.  This might be peeling potatoes, putting them in a large pan and filling it up with water.  I could just put a cover on this and let it sit until three in the afternoon when I started making the evening meal.  I was always a slow worker and wanted plenty of time to do the job.  When there was a lot of time available, there was less stress.  There would always be interruptions. Children would want to hear a story, or someone would need a Band-Aid.   Perhaps the phone would ring.  (This was before caller ID and before answering machines.)  I would make the call brief because the focus at this time of day was family and the dinner hour.   Most people understood that the evening time was just for family and the peaceful routine of winding down the day. Slowly and peacefully the kitchen work would be accomplished.

Throughout summer days, the children would have time to play outside.  I would often sit nearby while they played and laughed together. They always did something cute or entertaining that brought me a great deal of joy! 

Sometimes I would encourage a new game if they were getting bored. I would show them how to set up some toys and get them started.  This would quiet them down and they would get back to their play.  I tried not to let the children get "too riled up" because it would wear them out so much that they would get grumpy.  Children need peace and gentleness.  They need mother with patience and wisdom.

The children would need plenty of juice and light snacks. Lunch was always at around noon each day.  Then it was time for naps and rest in a nice cool room.  Often, the children needed to hear a few stories to help them to relax before their nap.

A nutritious snack and more juice would be served after this. We always had the children fold their little hands and bow their heads in prayer for all meals and snacks. It was so precious to see their little happy faces as they did this.

Soon they were back outside in the fresh air and sunshine.  If there was a baby, we would often just settle in the shade on a blanket or with a carriage (stroller).  We would usually stay outside for about an hour at a time and then come back in to rest or to play indoors.

 I always had the children help me with the chores, whether it was folding towels, sweeping the porch, or doing the dishes.  The children enjoyed helping me because we all did it together and talked and smiled.  I would praise them for their hard work and they would feel proud of themselves.  They needed to feel they were helpful and doing good things.

If it was very hot, there would be plenty of Popsicles served throughout the day. But we only ate at the kitchen table.  This helped keep the house neat and clean. Of course, the children were also welcome to have their treat outside and we often did this with watermelon at the picnic table.

The children loved to play with bubbles, little kiddie pools, beach toys, toy trucks, and baby dolls.  They could play for long periods of time if only a few items were offered. This way they were not overwhelmed. I would often help them clean up their games after use. This helped in two ways:

1.  The work was kept up to keep things generally in order.

2.  If everything was put away several times throughout the day, the children were always delighted to start fresh and play.  (Usually if the toys are left out and there is a mess, the children don't seem to notice their games and get bored. But if it is all cleaned up they want to play all over again!)

The main focus of the house was on the happiness and peacefulness of the family. If there was yelling or quarrelling among the children, it didn't last long.  All childish troubles were gently calmed with encouragement, wisdom, patience, and a great deal of understanding and love.

After supper, it would be bath time.  Soon the children would be cozy in their pajamas.  There was quiet play in the living room with perhaps a time of reading.  Sweet, sleepy children would be tucked into their beds with a prayer, a hug and kiss, and a gentle encouragement of a "goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."

These days, I am hearing that this kind of childhood is not so common in our culture.  Many mothers work outside the home.  When children are not in school or daycare, they attend something called, "day camp" in the summer months.  I very much appreciate that this is available for the working parents. But I can't help wondering what little ones are missing out on, when they are not able to have carefree summers at home, year-after-childhood-year, with Mama.

Blessings
Mrs.White


From the Archives -

Precious Days - Walking the Gardens with Baby.

A Blessing to have - A House Full of Babies.

A Happy Home - Serving Mister.

- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Find Home-keeping Inspiration, in Mrs.White's book -Mother's Book of Home Economics .  Paperback, 312 pages.

Pioneer Homeschooling Mothers

Library of Congress - New York Chapel and Cottages, 1906

In the late 1980's and early 1990's, homeschooling mothers were under the impression that our children would turn out to be model citizens, above temptation, dutiful and kind to parents, faithful church members, and grow up to adore all their siblings. The essays and articles of the times gave us the impression that we would have it easy. It created an idealism which caused a great deal of confusion in our parenting.  At some point, these children, who are like all the other children in loving homes, became teenagers, and times got tough.

There is no formula for easy parenting of teenagers and there never will be.  Here is the reason:  The culture around us is constantly changing. Each new generation of parents is a pioneer of the times.  I will give you some examples:

 In grandfather's day, there was no such thing as television.  When it was first introduced in the home, there were morals and values coming through the programs.  Families on television went to church and said their prayers.  After decades of changes in the media industry, television and movies are rarely without trash and vulgarity.  This causes us harm. Older adults have often said, "As long as you know it is not real, it will be fine to watch." But this type of wisdom, from the 1970's and 1980's, had not been tested on innocent, growing children. As time has gone by, many realize this type of advice was for an adult, not for a child or teenager.  The results of viewing "fluff" and "vulgarity" and "violence" for entertainment is a serious problem. It has caused great harm in our children.  This is something grandfather would never have imagined.

Facebook is a fairly new invention.  It may have been introduced to many families through a child in college. Soon grandma had a profile and then the younger children all wanted one.  It has both good and bad features.  It can cause harm in many ways, especially to children and teenagers.  This too is something grandfather would not have thought was dangerous.

Public schools and colleges are not what they used to be.  A good solid, academic education is much harder to come by. It is not so easy to just send junior to the local elementary school and think everything will be okay.  It is not like it was in the one- room school houses that produced the likes of Laura Ingalls Wilder.

I will not even comment on video games, cell phones, and other such things.

Despite all this and many more difficulties in our modern, American culture, we can still be good Mothers and raise good children.

There are many new inventions and ways of living that great-grandmother never would have dreamed.  I love my washing machine, electric stove, and frost-free refrigerator.   I appreciate my computer very much because I had spent many years, as a typist, using both a manual and electric typewriter.  When we have a power outage, here in rural Vermont, I am doubly grateful for our electricity when it comes back on.

There are always going to be innovations, new concepts, and modern inventions.  Yet we mothers would be wise to consider each new thing and see if it is something we will embrace in our own homes.  Is it good for our family? Will there be long term consequences?

 It is similar to how the Amish elders have meetings to come up with their rules for their districts.  They pray about each new thing and discuss if it will be good for their people.  It is okay to reject certain things in our homes.

To combat some of the negative influences on our children and teenagers, I know of many families who do not have a television set.  Others have one only for using carefully selected DVDs.  When I was a child, there was only one television set in the home. It was in the living room. These days, there are sets in all the bedrooms, the kitchen, the living room, in the family van, and even portable ones for using outdoors and while visiting friends and family. It can be found in public places, waiting rooms, and even in some salons.   It is important that mothers make rules and guidelines for their children, thinking of their long-term effects, and not just on today's entertainment value.

Facebook is confusing to me and of small value.  Yet it is highly important to a great many people.  It can be used for good, of course.  But it may not be okay for children.  It may not be okay for young teenagers.  Options might be to not have it at all. That is certainly okay.  Another idea might be to have one "family" account that mom and dad use along with the children. This might protect the children from many dangerous things. It is something each family ought to evaluate and make rules for their own household.

To combat the problem of sliding academics in our culture, we could build up a collection of good, quality literature in our own homes.  It is very easy, these days, to have a home library.  It may take years to build, but it will be used for generations if it is carefully tended.  Encourage reading, help the children with their schoolwork, develop a love of history and a love of learning.

The issue here is that we are raising children, not adults. Too many modern inventions are harmful to children in the long term, even though they may not faze an adult.  It is important to evaluate the good and the bad around us, and not just follow along with the masses.  Your home is a reflection of who you are and of what you value.  No matter what is happening in the culture, you can still have good, kind children.  Take them to church, have daily prayers and Bible time, sing with them, teach them your talents and skills, educate them to the best of your ability.  Do all this with a great deal of mercy, long suffering, patience, and love.  Do this consistently, even if they are having mood swings, grumpy days, or hard times.  The constant routine of goodness will have its positive effect on them over time.

A Mother ought to offer a happy home to her children.  She can play board games, cook, bake, sew, knit, paint, teach, and love being with her family. She can laugh, encourage, pray over her little ones, and lead them to her dear Lord.  She can have a humble and meek spirit with an overflowing aura of the joy of the Lord.  She can do this even amidst trials and troubles.  She can do this despite an ever-changing culture.  A Loving Christian Home has always been the greatest place on earth, in all times, in all places.  

How they turn out, when they become adults, is up to them. You can only do the best you can (as flawed as we all are) with the wisdom you have each day.  You are responsible for their childhood. They are responsible for their adulthood.

 A Mother's job is to do the work.  The result of all this effort is up to God.


Blessings
Mrs. White

* This post can be found in my homeschooling book:

Help For Homeschooling:

Seeking a Thrifty and Simple Life: Encouragement for Christian Homeschooling by Mrs. White

Paperback, 112 pages

As you read this book, I hope you get a sense that, no matter what is going on in the world, every home can be a homeschool. 

From the Archives -

Organizing - A Home Without Clutter.

In Case you Wondered - The Secret to a Clean House.

Peace and Simplicity - An Ordinary Life at Home.

- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Grandmother's Nursery

Library of Congress: "Teaching to sew" by Henry J. Bracker, 1890's.

We have done some rearranging and set up a little room as a nursery for the grandchildren.  The room is one of the smaller ones, with a gate at the door.  There are beautiful wood panelled walls.  There is a crib, toy box, little bike, and a big chair in the corner where I can read stories to the babies.

I want to find vintage photographs to put on some of the walls. We already have letters and such for educational purposes.  The room is a cozy, happy place where I will spend part of my day with my grandbabies. 

Of course I will still take them along with me when I am cleaning and cooking. They will be busily occupied in carriages or highchairs on the upper floors where my kitchen and parlour are set up.  They will happily watch and laugh while I vacuum.  We will also go out on the grounds of this estate to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine all through the spring and summer.

But a great part of our day, will be that joyful little nursery. This is where I will rock the babies and sing them lullabies.  This is where all my attention will be for them.  This is where I will not be busy with anything but the care and nurture of babies.

Grandmother's nursery is a happy place for the children.  This will be their domain and the place we will love to play.

In every home, there ought to be a quantity of time devoted entirely to children.  It goes by much too fast.  While it may seem like mother or grandmother is not doing anything at all, she is creating incredible memories and security in the hearts of the babies.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Thrift does not have to mean serving rice and beans - Basic Cookery.

The Horse and Carriage ride with baby - Snowy Days at our Vermont Estate.

Remembering my Childhood - Manners Learned at the Finishing School.

 - To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

 

 

For old time encouragement in living simply on a limited income, order Mrs. White's book:

"An Old Fashioned Budget: Humble Financial Management for the Christian Housewife"

77 pages, paperback.

 

Mother's Benevolent Society

The Charitable Visit, 1870 Illustration.

 

One of the greatest opportunities for the homemaker is her charitable acts within the home.  If she can only delight in her calling, and lot in life, she can become a bright light of good deeds, noble virtue, and kindness to her family.

Sometimes when I would teach my children to do some little service, or help, for their siblings, they would perhaps frown or start to complain.  I would smile knowingly and say something like, "this will be a mitzvah.   It is a good deed, following the principles and commandments given by God, and He will reward you for it.  It is His work you are doing."  The term "mitzvah" was taught to my children when they were very young.  It is a Jewish term which is a keeping of the many commandments of God.  It has also been said that by doing a mitzvah, a bond is created by God and man.  There is a joy in it, a loving service for the Lord above, and that makes it precious. 

While we mothers are not always in the sweetest, holiest of moods, our main goal is to be kind hearted, and warmed by the presence of God.  This will pour through us, in our own actions and words.   In this way we are teaching our children the beauty of a life devoted to benevolence.

But what of the Mother's own actions?

It is very easy to become overwhelmed and even annoyed with all the work heaped upon us. It almost becomes a burden and a tremendous pressure that may crush us down if we let it.  Yielding to this work with a sweet temper is a herculean task.  It cannot be done instantly. It cannot even be done in our own strength.  But if we pray and read our Bibles, and sing our hymns and spend time in the holy worship of the Lord, He will give us the strength we need to do HIS work. . .  The main problem of yielding to our tasks is that we take on far more than we are capable of doing.  We often burden ourselves with impossible expectations and we all suffer because of it.

There is a simplicity in running a society of benevolence in the home.  There are basic tasks, and loving service, and little chores.  This slow-paced work should not be done in a hurry or under pressure.  These tasks should be done as unto the Lord.   The work can be done as many mitzvahs, with prayers and praises that continue to create a moment-by-moment bond to God.  This will bring us great peace and great joy that will fill us with a charitable, loving demeanor.  All who observe this, all who are the beneficiaries of this, will be warmed by this light and will carry on for us, and with us, for as long as we are in this society.

Mother,  will you become a member of the benevolent society? Will you set one up in your own home?    Will your influence and example affect your family and those around you with the beauty of holiness?

We must all remember this the next time a child whines, a dish is broken, the trash needs to be removed, someone is cranky, and when everyone forgets to do their own work.  We must remember to face these supposed burdens with a new excitement of doing mitzvahs and being charitable to those who have been placed in our care - including our guests, our children and our husbands.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives - 

I will do my duty - No Matter What it Cost Me.

The Beauty in Home Life - Simplicity of Old Fashioned Homemaking.  

Old Time Happy and Frugal Kitchen - Basic Cookery.

 

- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Find Home-keeping Inspiration, in Mrs.White's book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking.  Paperback, 274 pages.

Mrs or Miss and Other Titles of Respect

Floral painting by Mark Stilleven Van Bloemen (1792-1844)

In ballet class, the students are required to call their teacher "Miss" and then her first name. This shows classical respect. This was also common manners when I was a child. A Friend who visited was called "Miss Annie."

If it was a very close family friend, one who was beloved, she was given the title of "Aunt." I had a few "Aunts" who seemed like they were part of our family. I would not have ever dreamed of calling them by their first names without using the title "Aunt."  (My own children have a dearly loved "Uncle" who is my husband's closest friend.)

We had visitors from the south in summer. The small children would call me "Ma'am" even though I was their cousin. It was because I was their elder.  Have you ever heard a sweet child with a southern accent call an eleven year old, "Ma'am"? It is precious!  The children would never say a simple "no" or "yes" without a "Ma'am" or "Sir" when speaking to the older generation. It was common courtesy. (The adults responded the same way, as an example, by saying "Ma'am" and "Sir" as well.)

In those days, the world was family - centered and adult  - centered. Children were cherished, but were taught to give up a seat for an older person. When company came, they would gladly give up their bedroom for the guest. The children would sleep on "pallets," or blankets, on the living room floor. They were happy with this arrangement and knew no other way.  Children looked forward to the privilege of being grown and looked forward to growing up and getting to be an honored adult.

Children were also taught to "go play" during adult conversation. Parents and visitors would talk quietly about the news of the day, or some trial in the family, so as not to upset the innocence of children. This was part of respect and manners in the home. Children did not live in the adult world. They were honored and protected as children.

One of the greatest blessings in life was to earn the title of "Mrs."  Girls were called "Miss" until they married.  I remember being called "Miss Sharon" growing up and I loved it.  There was some dignity and elegance to the title of "Miss," just like in ballet class. If I was helping in Sunday School, the little students called  me "Miss," or "Ma'am." 

 But when I became "Mrs. White" I was honored and delighted.  Suddenly I had protection, in a sense. I had a covering and a very special reason to act accordingly. I had a husband who expected me to be a lady, and an honor to his name.   Women used to proudly address themselves as "Mrs." . . . When out in the stores, they would say hello to each other by showing respect to the family and husband by saying, "Hello Mrs. Smith! How are you today?"  It brought out the grace and dignity in all. (Of course, in close, personal visits, first names were used.)

When titles are used, it brings out gallantry in gentlemen and refinement in other women. In the old days, no one scoffed at titles like they do today. This is part of the reason we have an extremely casual self-centered society. No one wants to give place to respect and honor.


In the old days, Ladies dressed like ladies. They were in skirts and dresses, not sweatshirts and sweatpants. Women and Children dressed up to go to the store, the church or out visiting. We presented ourselves in our best because this brought out the best in others.   Ladies also gave their best to their families, at home, by dressing nicely.  They did not wear ratty, casual clothes. They would wear a comfortable, but pretty, house dress with an apron over it. This meant they cared about how they looked and wanted to please their families by looking sweet and pleasant. They were also ready to greet unexpected guests. This does not mean they were in their Sunday Best, but they looked nice and were not embarrassed when someone came by. This carried into their homes.

When we use Titles and Have Respect and know the place and the value of Manners, we not only look nice, but our homes look nice. We also treat others in a more civil, kind way. We respect the family, the institution of marriage and the love of home.

One of my greatest wishes is that they would do away with the term "Ms." because it brings confusion. Originally, we know that Miss means unmarried and Mrs. means married. Why then the term of "Ms."?   I would also love if unisex clothing went out of fashion.  I would love if our town and our state and our county realized the potential for traditional royalty and started to act accordingly. Truly this would trickle down to our children and succeeding generations and bring more pride and love for values and manners.

Recently I saw a picture of a modern family. It was a Husband and Wife with all their children. They were dressed up and smiling.  Even though they looked lovely, I could sense a casualness to them. I contrasted this with an early 1900's historic photograph (in black and white) of my grandfather when he was a small boy. His siblings and parents were also in the picture. The dignity and pride came through in their stature and poise. Their clothing was amazing, even though they were far from rich. This was the traditional family of which I speak. This is where titles and manners and customs of the old days brings out the richness of our heritage.

If only more ladies were proud of being called "Aunt" or "Miss" and thought it endearing. If only neighbors and friends were commonly called, with a sweet smile, "Mrs."  If only children were taught to give up their seat for their elders and learned to honor them with titles.  While the adults, likewise, protected their innocence and taught them by example.  Maybe we could recapture the joy of family and understand that royalty and dignity is possible, once again, in this great nation.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

The Way of the Old Days - Building our Homes with Little Money.

What do you Think? - Do We Really Care About our Homes?

- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Childhood Home as the Nursery

"New England Cottage" painting by Edmund H. Garrett, 1800's.

Sometimes my grown children get homesick. They miss the days of the nursery - where Mother is here for them all the time. When Mother bakes cookies, makes supper and plays games. It is the soothing seclusion of a loving home - where the world is shut out for a time.

I can often see pain, in the eyes of my teenagers. But I cannot make it go away. I cannot stop them from hurting, or from suffering, in this life. But I can be here, with a loving smile and open arms.

I can listen to their stories. . . without judgement. . . I can hear their trials and tribulations and say nothing. This is the resting place. Home is the place to recover from the world. But I cannot make the world go away.

So I play cards with them. .  We gather around the table and we laugh and have a good time. We all have hurt in our eyes, but we push it aside.

And we play pool, in our beat up, unfinished porch that we call the game room.  We play on teams and I hear stories and jokes and I hear things I never thought could be so funny! I enjoy my teenagers and grown children. But I do not try to run their lives. I do not try to control them.

I am the keeper of the nursery.

Come here, my precious babies, when the world has become too painful. . . Come home to the nursery, where I will always be - with the cookies and the cards and the loving smile.

(Love Mom.)


blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Advice for a Happy Home - Peaceful Living by Rules.

Careful thrift in the Home - Reducing Expenses.

A Peaceful Old Fashioned Bible Time - The Prentiss Study. 

 - To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

 

For Encouragement in Christian Homemaking, order Mrs. White's book, "Homemaking For Happiness: Wonderful Days at Home."

In this book, you will find essays, articles, and diary entries about life in a Christian home.

Entries are arranged by season, and include:  "Keeping a Frugal Kitchen;" "Missing the Lilacs;" "An Evening Walk in the Garden;" "At Grandmother's House;" and "Chores for Grandchildren."

You will also find a few photographs showing a little of the local landscape.

Paperback, 307 pages.

Mother as the Coach

Brink Family at home, 1942, Minneapolis. (LOC)

Ray Charles went blind when he was 5 years old. His mother was a devout Christian. They lived in a poor community, and she had to train him for life. Did she know she was going to die when he was 15? Probably not. But she knew she had to help him to live in a difficult world.

I remember watching his life story on television. I remember seeing this small, precious boy calling for his mother. He had recently gone blind. He needed help. I remember seeing that wise woman standing off in a corner watching him. She just watched. That boy called and called and it broke her heart. She wouldn't answer because she was teaching him.  Thinking he was alone,  he started to listen to the sounds around him. He started to reach out and see where he was walking. He started to actually live blind.  His mother had tears on her cheeks.  He was learning.

                                     - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

A Coach is someone who trains the team. He trains the players to succeed and to win. A Mother is a coach in her own home. She teaches her children how to get along, how to form a family team, and how to survive out in the real world.

1. Sibling Rivalry.

The coach wants the team to be a family. They need to have each other's backs. There has to be compassion and caring and kindness. No one is closer than a brother.  No one will sacrifice more for a brother. A brother will work despite pain, for the benefit of a suffering teammate. Yes, all children argue. Yes, they have their moments of feeling left out or that someone else is the favorite; but when trials come, when the games (in life) are being played, and the storms are brewing, the team pulls together and forms a bond which is not easily broken.  As for my own children, they have given up hard earned cash to help each other. They have willingly worked to pay for a designer coat, or a snack or a special birthday gift to cheer the other.  When times are hard, each one will give anything to take care of the other.   They are the teammates in the White House who were coached by Mother.

2. Work Ethic.

I required all my children to work hard. Each one had a job. I encouraged them to move fast and get the job done. When all the children were young, this was easier because they would compete with one another. They would see who could run faster, who could lift more grocery bags and who could have the cleanest room. (They did this on their own, to make the work fun.) But my youngest had it harder. I had to train him without the benefit of co-laborers. I would have him open doors for me (learn to be a gentleman), even while he was holding grocery bags. I would have him bring all the heavy shopping bags into the house - alone.  He did not understand this, but my praises and my kindness made him realize I was teaching him how to work.  All my children have a tremendous work ethic.

3. On the Field.

I have taught my children morals and values. I have advised them through some difficult times. But they don't always listen to me. Children will not always listen to their coach. But, know this, when they get out on the field, and they try it their own way - the players and the crowds (the world) will teach them. Your student may come back harmed, limping and sore. But he will understand your lessons.


4. Resenting the Coach.

Often the coach must be stern. The coach must carefully push the players to a point where their accomplishments exceed their own dreams. We Mothers don't want our children lazing around the house, being pampered by us. We don't want them to slack or get away with living an unproductive life. So we provide training opportunities. We provide work and see that it is carried out. In the beginning, the team will grumble and gripe, but as they rise and succeed, they appreciate and love their coach. They see that it was not all in vain. Many have come back to say, "Coach, thank you for making me work. Thank you for putting up with me and standing beside me all these years and never giving up on me."


The retired years of a Mother coach are the most precious of all. She sees the fruit of her labors. She sees those children coming back from the battlefield (life) with war stories and victories! She sees them as productive citizens who have learned life lessons. Her hair is white from age. Her vision is fading. But her team loves and respects her with great admiration.


Blessings,
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Living History - Homemaking Links the Generations.

Serious Advice - How a Godly Mother may Guide an Imperfect Family.

An ongoing challenge - Living on Mister's Income.

  - To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

 

Mrs. White's special book for homemakers:

 

"Introduction to Home Economics:  Gentle Instruction to Find Joy in Christian Homemaking." 

 

Paperback, 200 pages.

Creating a 1950's- like Childhood

Children playing with doll carriage, New York, 1912. (LOC)

When I was a child, we spent most of our time playing outdoors. We would head over to a neighbor's house, walk to the corner store, or head down to our small, private beach at the end of the road. Often children would gather in our yard and we would play games like:

1. Red Rover.
2. Freeze Tag.
3. Kickball (we had four trees in the yard, conveniently set up to make a square- which was perfect for bases.)
4. Dodge Ball.
5. Races

We would also ride our bikes and roller skate in the street. We could all walk to the elementary school and use the playground, tennis court, basketball court and baseball field.

One of my favorite things to do was take a blow-up raft (boat) and use that at our private beach. We also enjoyed skipping rocks in the water and running in the sand.

Summer time would mean outdoor picnics, and the neighbors would sometimes stop by to talk to our parents and share a little food and drink.  There was always homemade ice cream. We loved watching Dad make it. He would use dry ice and a hand crank on some kind of bucket. It would produce sweet, cold vanilla ice cream!

Dad would buy a large watermelon and store it in the downstairs fridge. We would wait for days, excited for when we could eat it. "Dad got a watermelon!" We would say with delight! Then on the day of our fun, we would sit outside at the picnic table and enjoy our delicious treat on paper plates, after having hot dogs and hamburgers.

Sometimes, Dad would surprise us all by saying, "Let's go!  Everyone in the truck!" We children would climb in the back and hang on. In those days, it was okay to sit in the back of a truck without a seat belt.  He would take us to the next town and buy us each a soft serve ice cream with jimmies!  We were carefree and happy!

In the winter, many children would gather in our yard to go sledding down our hill. We had the best time in the snow and we also enjoyed making snow angels and playing until it got dark. Then we would be so cold, we would head inside to warm up by the fire to drink hot chocolate and have our supper.

Mother made supper every night around 5 p.m. That's when everything quieted down. We were healthy and happy and worn out from our playing.

This was a 1950's style childhood and I want to create it for my own children. When I was growing up, we did not have computers, cell phones, or any other contraption that kept us occupied in the house. We wanted to go outside and create our fun. In this current society, we have to help create this for our children. We need to get outside and teach them how to play red rover. We need to work on making our yards the fun place for the neighborhood children to enjoy.  We need to make home a safe and happy place to be.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Careful thrift - Reducing Expenses.

What Many of Us Crave - An Ordinary Life at Home.

A Simple Life - Days without Spending Money. 

- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Help For Homeschooling:

Seeking a Thrifty and Simple Life: Encouragement for Christian Homeschooling by Mrs. White

Paperback, 112 pages

As you read this book, I hope you get a sense that, no matter what is going on in the world, every home can be a homeschool. 

An Elegant Home Despite Poverty

Sometimes, my house seems beat-up and old. Well, it is old! It was built in 1850 for a lawyer who had a wife and 10 children. When we first bought this house, I went to the memorial museum of our small town and searched the history. I also bought some old books which were written by residents many years ago. I saw old pictures and enjoyed reading their history.

All around me I see wealth and beauty in classy, new homes. I see elegance and distinction. Then I look at my own estate and see the house needs a paint job and the porch steps are falling apart. I am reminded of my life as the old country wife who lives in poverty - like in the movie "The Dollmaker" starring Jane Fonda. Didn't that one just make you cry? Or what about the mother of Loretta Lynn in "Coal Miner's Daughter"? Those are the women I relate to - The hardworking mothers of humble means.

I was just looking at some photographs of my house. I see holes in my kitchen linoleum. But the floors are shiny and clean in the sunlight.  I see an old country kitchen, but it is pretty and tidy. I see walls in desperate need of a paint job - but there are children smiling and happy, playing cards or laughing, in the photographs.

I go about my day in an apron and dress. I clean and tidy and make this place a home. To me, it is a home of elegance. It is a precious place I love, and take pride in.  Even though my furniture is old and second-hand, it clearly speaks of an old fashioned, creative homemaker.

Blessings
Mrs. White

-Inspiring essay, relating to poverty, by Washington Irving, 1800's, - The Wife -



- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Find Home-keeping Inspiration, in Mrs. White's book,

 - For The Love of Christian Homemaking.  

Paperback, 274 pages.

A Place They Want to Come Home To

The kitchen is the center of the home. When guests come by, a Homemaker always offers a refreshment - food or drink. Sometimes a guest will decline. This is when the Homemaker begins to coax:

"I just baked an apple pie and we have vanilla ice cream to go with it. Wouldn't you like some?

There is a sparkle in the eyes of the guest. They enjoy the delightful treat and have a pleasant visit.

This is the same with our husband and children. They love to hear Mother say, "Can I make you something special to eat?"

This is what I was thinking about last night. It was 4:30 in the afternoon and I didn't know what I was going to make for supper. I wanted everyone to have a lovely evening. I wanted supper to be a family event. I wanted to make sure they always wanted to come home.

So I began working on the environment. I put on my apron and turned on soothing Classical music to inspire me. Here is what I did:

1. I cleared off and washed the kitchen table. (The children had been playing cards earlier.)
2. I placed a vanilla scented candle in the center and then lit it.

I still didn't know what was for supper.

3. I pulled some burger out of the freezer to begin to defrost.
4. I set the table. I used Styrofoam (paper) plates. I put out napkins and forks. I put a glass at every plate.
5. I went in the kitchen and prepared carrot sticks. Then I sliced up some Cracker Barrel Cheddar Cheese and placed these on a small serving plate. Both items were carefully and artfully placed on the table.
6. I found the salt and pepper shakers and put them on the table.

I still didn't know what was for supper.

7. I made a large batch of iced tea and put this in the fridge to chill.
8. I saw one of the children walk through, take some cheese, smile, and then run off.
9. I started to fry up the burger. I added a bit of water to the pan to slow down the cooking, giving it more time to defrost and to prevent burning.

I knew what was for supper.

10. I started to boil water to make egg noodles.
11. I pulled out bread crumbs, garlic powder, vegetable oil, cheddar and mozzarella cheese. Everything would be mixed up together to make a sort of homemade hamburger helper.
12. I warmed English muffins in the toaster oven and then buttered and sliced them in half. These were laid out artfully on a serving plate.

When the food was all finished, I placed it on the table with serving spoons. I called the children for supper. As they sat down, I said:

"Use your best table manners."

I listened as the children talked and laughed while helping themselves to food. When someone began to talk about something I didn't like, I would say, "Not of general interest!" (This lovely phrase is from the 1940's book, "Cheaper by the Dozen" by the Gilbreth family.) This helps keep the conversation appropriate and interesting for everyone.

After A.- (15) finished eating, she lingered at the table. She was smiling and enjoying our company. She did not run off. I was delighted and I noticed. It was a pleasant meal.

This is the kind of place they will want to come home to. It takes effort to create a pleasant environment for the family. But in the process, I am rewarded beyond measure.

Blessings,
Mrs. White

To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

 

For happiness and cheer in the kitchen:

Mrs. White's old fashioned cookbook focuses on serving meals and setting the table in a humble home.

"Serving in the Kitchen: Cookbook with Recipes, Advice, and Encouragement for the Christian Home"

152 pages, paperback

How a Godly Mother May Guide an Imperfect Family

Sunday dinner, 1942, Connecticut (LOC)

So many mothers have trials and sorrows. They cry out to God because of wayward children. Or, perhaps they shake their head in despair when their young child continues to do wrong. We need a country of strong, encouraged mothers. We need Mothers to understand that all children, all people, have a sin nature. Our families will be imperfect.

Whenever you see a lovely family of Bible Hugging children- know you are only seeing an image. Those children still sin and give their parents trouble. Perhaps they bicker, or disobey, or even lie. But they love their Mother and they love their Bible. It doesn't mean they are going to be perfect. Let's get that clear, first off.
 
Children silently observe all that Mother does. They know what she is really like. It cannot be hidden in the home.  Mother, we need to know we cannot do any of this alone. We need our dear Lord and I will tell you how to find strength from Him.

1. Strive to live a simple, unworldly life. Find time for recreation for the sake of the body, but it must not be the consuming of one's life.

2. Read the Bible more than any other reading material. Read it to ponder. Read it while praying. Read it while weeping. Read it for strength.

3. Pray with all thy heart and soul and strength. Pray diligently throughout the day. Pray for each child by name. Pray for courage. Pray for faith and love of God's holy way. Pray about everything.

4. Live out your commitments without wavering. Do what you promise to do, even if it causes you pain, exhaustion and suffering. You will be a shining example of a dedicated, responsible soul if you can be trusted to keep your word.

5. Work hard. Work with whatever you have been given to do. Work with all your strength and might- whether it be in your housekeeping, cooking, mothering, gardening or what have you. Do it with pride and commitment.

6. Talk about God with your children.  Tell them about your prayers and the answers when they come. Show your children your total trust and faith in your Heavenly Father. Do this in normal, daily life- as things come up - rather than in forced conversations.

7.  Offer Grace and Mercy to your children. Do not hold grudges. Forgive at once! Forgive even if they are still acting up! Forgive, smile, show compassion and love them with every bit of your strength.  Forgive them over and over and over again - without end.

8.  Speak life into your children.  Lift them up. Praise them and tell them how much you love them and are grateful for them.

9. Do good things for your children. Make an effort to cook their favorite meals and make home a special place they want to be. Make a pleasant and loving home for your family.  Do good things for them, unconditionally - even if they are acting troublesome. Show them love through your actions.

10. Live out a godly life before them. Pray openly. Read your Bible openly. Sing hymns or listen to gospel music openly. Go to the Master and fill your heart with love and holiness and then face your family, fully equipped to minister,while doing your homemaking tasks.

11. Confess your faults. If you are in a bad mood - tell them you are sorry. If you made a foolish decision- repent of it. Show them that none of us are flawless, but God has great mercy and we can only cling to him as the source of our hope.

12. Never bend. Know what your convictions are and do not change them with the times. Do not try to join in sinful, worldly living just to be friends with your children. You are the Mother. You are the example. You must stay strong and live out a godly, holy life before your family. Do not bend to their childish, immature worldly whims. I cannot stress this enough. Children will grow up, remembering your example. One day they will cling to the old ways and realize it was your source of strength.  Long after you are dead and gone, dear mother, they will remember your strong character and godly ways. Don't underestimate the power of a committed, godly life. 

13. Realize that money and things are never going to be more important than one's convictions. If you are seeking money at the expense of your family, or at the expense of your moral values - pray and find a way to drop it as quickly as possible. Nothing is more important than the salvation of the souls of your children. Do not let money, things, or the world's standard of life destroy your only chance of bringing up godly children.

 I want to paint an image of what this looks like in an old fashioned home. Mother has her daily duties. We thank God for her work, because it gives her something important to do. She cannot spend all day wasting time on television, constant eating and lounging. She needs to be about the Master's business - and that is the keeping of the home. She should pray for love for her job, so that it will shine through and bless those around her.  I can see her right now, washing clothes, hanging them on the line. I see her humming and smiling while she makes supper.  Now she is reading the Bible and sharing a verse or two that has blessed her. All her worries are cast on the Lord in prayer. She goes about her daily life, unhurried, and in peace.   The children feel safe and secure because they know Mama is there.


 Dear ones, our daily religious duties are an obligation. We do them whether or not we feel like it. It is what helps keep us on the straight and narrow. If we follow our own way, our own desires, we will be led astray. Perhaps we don't want to go to church. This is an enormous struggle in many homes. We don't want to go. But if we go out of obligation and gratefulness to God, we are setting an amazing example to our children. 

We, as mothers, will have children of all ages, at all stages on their religious journey. Some have been saved, some are struggling in sin, some are confused, and some are under the chastening hand of God. We need to be there, praying, smiling, encouraging and seeing them through these rough years. We may be weeping now, as we work in the harvest fields, but in the end, we will rejoice, bringing our sheaves with us. All that matters, at the end of it all, is not the fun we had, or the worldly things we indulged in, or the money we earned. What matters is walking through the pearly gates, with the souls of our beloved children following us into heaven.

Blessings,
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Old Fashioned Living - Retirement Planning for the Poor.

Wisdom from Colonial Days  - To Earn and Not to Spend.

Taking Care of the Family - A Covered Bridge and Graceful Living in Rural Vermont. 

 To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Learn How To Manage Money on a Small Income, with this helpful book:

- It is an honor to be the bookkeeper for the house! - 

Find detailed instruction and inspiration in budgeting on a small income, along with a method for keeping a handwritten ledger, with lots of thrifty ideas, in Mrs.White's book:

 -An Old Fashioned Budget: Humble Financial Management for the Christian Housewife. 

 Paperback, 77 pages.

Cozy, Snowy, Spring Evening in Vermont

A few days ago, we had the loveliest spring weather. I have been cleaning my house and getting ready for warmth and outdoor activities. I even found my clothes-pins and could not wait to hang laundry on the line, out back near our river. Can you imagine how peaceful it is to stand out there with freshly washed clothes, while the sound of rushing water echoes in the wind? I wanted to see my children playing while I worked. I wanted to see my parents (who live with us) working on the garden and tending flowers, staying home, happy to be on our "Vermont Estate." But then something happened...

Of course it was expected.. But it still startled me nonetheless. Snow began to fall. Then I got excited! Mr. White turned on our wood pellet stove and we watched the falling snow out the window. It is lovely! I am now cozy and warm in the house and getting ready to tidy up my kitchen.

Hope all is well in your homes. Have a delightful evening!

Blessings,
Mrs. White

 - To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

 

For happiness and cheer in the kitchen:

Mrs. White's old fashioned cookbook focuses on serving meals and setting the table in a humble home.

"Serving in the Kitchen: Cookbook with Recipes, Advice, and Encouragement for the Christian Home"

152 pages, paperback

Suppertime in a Rural Home

"Home For the Holidays" by Todd Williams

 

It is getting dark. The day is almost over. Mama is wearing her apron and cooking in the kitchen. She's smiling and happy and humming a tune, while she leans over the stove.

The children come in from their play. They are cold and excited and talking about all the snowmen they created. Such sweet smiles on their faces! Their eyes light up when they enter the warm house. They put away their coats and settle down to wait for supper.

Daddy walks in after a hard day at work. He is tired. But all his troubles seem to melt away when he enters the inviting rural home.

Some of the children help Mama set the table. They lay out plates and silverware, cups and napkins. Another child comes over to pour drinks. The table looks inviting.

Mama brings out platters of food. She serves fresh warm bread, butter, stew and salad. The children are hungry and excited to enjoy a nice meal with the family.

They sit around the table. Dad says the prayer. Everyone is thankful and smiling. If you are walking by, on that cold winter night, and you happen to see them through the window, you will see laughter and smiles. You will see a happy family eating their supper and full of love and gratefulness.

Mama cleans up while the children run off to play. They are getting their baths and will soon hear a bedtime story. Mama is humming while she washes dishes and polishes the table. Life inside that home is peaceful and joyous. The outside cares and troubles fade away, when it's suppertime in the old rural house.

Blessings,
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

An Encouraging look at - "Poverty in the 1800's" about the Mother of D.L. Moody.

For the love of taking care of grandchildren - "I Hear Angels Crying."

Sweet Faith for Mothers - "All of God's Children Have Shoes."

- To find out more about this blog, or Mrs. White, please visit our About page. -

Mrs. White's special book for Homemakers - 

"Mother's Book of Home Economics."

312 pages, paperback.

It is Bed Time for Mother's Little Ones

It is late at night. Time to tuck the children into bed. Mother will read them a story, listen to their prayers and cuddle them up with warm blankets. She will kiss her little darlings good night, and then smile warmly with all the love in her heart for her precious babies.

Later, after they have fallen asleep, she will go back and check on them again. Maybe she has just finished her dishes and had a cup of tea. Now it is time for a quiet house and her own private prayers to God.

She will look at her children, from the doorway, with a grateful heart. She loves those children so dearly. They sleep soundly. She is blessed!

May it always be so!

Blessings,
Mrs. White